Na-tal

In a couple of hours, I'll be less younger. It seems the people around me are more excited about it than I am. Actually they are excited and I am not. Why should I? Birthdays are normal. We all get it every year. Even my cabbage patch kid doll had a birth certificate to let me know when she was "born" to celebrate it. Plus, I wouldn't be the only one getting older tomorrow. There are thousands of people. Some I even know of. I already know what to expect tomorrow. Family, friends, anonymous personalities, freaky stalkers, and the likes would call, text, e-mail, IM, or what-have-you to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Heck, I even know beforehand what I would tell them..THANK YOU! We'd probably eat out for dinner. Yet, since I try to go on a diet, I would not eat much. Then, amazingly, we'd go home. Is that something to be excited about? I don't think so. Then again, before I retire to bed, I would probably remember that I still have unopened gifts. Now, that's something to be a little excited about. *wink*

The Term That Was

Finally, after another grueling term, it is term break once again. The finals week was the deadliest. We had to submit 85 papers compiled "creatively", a psychological evaluation of our patient, a take-home final exam which was given as such since if we were to answer it in class, it would take the entire term [as in], and a personal case history project.

Don't think that only the numbers make these tasks impossible. I tell you, it's not just it. To come up with 85 papers, you must have read 85 chapters of Yalom's book, think of designs to make it artsy fartsy, and have it ringbound. I am so resourceful that I merely placed them in a clearbook. Hehe. For the psychological evaluation, of course, I had to adminsiter and interpret psychological tests. The standardized tests were relatively easier but tell me, do you think it is easy to determine my client's stress level by simply looking at his drawings and reading the stories he made up? Hell No. Would it be easy to answer a 6-question final exam worth 230 points? Obviously not. Lastly, how easy is it to attach a mental disorder to yourself, make a social history that leads to it, have a discussion, conceptualization, and treatment? Not so much.

Imagine my joy and glee when I got our course cards along with the PPG. I didn't have any grade lower than 3.5! Yehey!! A 4.0 and a bunch of 3.5s!! [VERY] Hardwork really pays off..and it pays off very well.:) So off to Tagaytay we went right after the nerve-wracking course card distribution and spent lots of fun, dvd marathons, chills [from the cool air and the scary movies], beers [for them though], chips, and great food. Oh, the PPG. We are always together through the worst and best times.:) By the way, this term is so memorable for us for the reason that PJ's question, "gano katibay ang pundasyon ng PPG?" was answered. Uber strong. Unbreakable.

I was back at home late afternoon of Sunday. What better way to cap the weekend with a nice sumptuous dinner with the person who helped me with everything from answering tests, lending me his flash drive when I couldn't fine mine, typing the 85 papers and burning them on a CD, providing me a nokia charger [even that], fixing my deactivated mylasalle account, doing my on-line enrollment for me, going with me for my search for which UMPC to purchase, taking me out to "chill" and bearing with my bad moods from all the tiredness, ETC. Did i mention that he bought me this delectable and pretty cake that night only to satisfy my craving the night before? SWEET.:)

Speaking of cakes, this little princess will be a little less younger in a couple of days..5, as of this writing..:) Gifts are welcome.:)

Thanks in advance, mwaah!

One Hundred Ways

The so-called love month is nearly ending. I thought I could get away with posting anything in connection to it at this time but it seems that I can't. Fine. Pardon my pink font.

Love. I can give you Paul's definition of it but I'd rather you go look it up in the Holy Book instead. Or try Webster's online. Or the ever-helpful Wikipedia. My favorite is the one of Robert Sternberg's. It's not because I'm a psych major ok? Let's just say it's more realistic. His Triangular Theory of Love states that love has three components: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. For us to obtain real love, the one we all wish for, the type the hopeless romantics would die for, the three components must be present. Hence, it is called consummate. Without passion, the love would be platonic; Companionate. Without commitment, it would be more of lust; physical. Eros. Without intimacy, it would be plain infatuation. So we ask how do we end up with all three? According to Sternberg, love is neither merely an emotion nor a state of mind. Love is a decision we make. If we want to love, then we commit ourselves to it. Passion and intimacy may or may not be present yet but it will stem out from one's desire to be in love.

When we love, we don't simply fall, we choose to fall. Sometimes we feel so much passion that we think our actions and emotions become uncontrollable but that does not happen. We are given free will therefore, we are always in control of our choices. Don't answer me with, "but I didn't have a choice.." Even Miranda says it in The Devil Wears Prada, "YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. TO LIVE THIS KIND OF LIFE, YOU HAVE TO MAKE CHOICES."

Likewise, when we fall out of love, it is because we chose to do it. We must also not disregard the fact that in a relationship, there are two people involved. For that reason, in any matter, there are two people at fault, two people responsible. Yes, it takes two to tango. If your lover cheated on you, part of the blame is on you. You may have chosen to let it pass. You may have chosen to ignore it. You may have chosen to not give enough that he ended up finding someone to fill in what's missing.

We choose when to fall in love and we choose when to stop. Above all, we choose to maintain, nourish, and care for the love we have..and to do that, we must choose to act. Someone once sent me an SMS saying that love is a verb as well as noun, to love is to do and not just to feel, so unless you express it, love isn't real. How true. Love is more than late night calls, early morning talks, coffee breaks, gifts and physical presence. Otherwise, how would the love be different from the love shared by friends? Right? You must go beyond that. Extra effort perhaps?

Find One Hundred Ways.

Compliment what she does
Send her roses just because
If it's violins she loves, let them play
Dedicate her favorite song
And hold her closer all night long
Love her today
Find one hundred ways

Don't forget, there could be
An old lover in her memory
If you need her so much more
Why don't you say?
Maybe she has it in her mind
That she's just wasting her time
Ask her to stay
Find one hundred ways

Being cool won't help you keep a love warm
You'll just blow your only chance
Take the time to open up your heart
That's the secret of romance

Sacrifice if you care
Buy her some moonlight to wear
If it's one more star she wants
Go all the way
In your arms tonight, she'll reflect
That she owes you the sweetest of debts
If she wants to pay
Find one hundred ways

Love her today
Find one hundred ways

Borrowed that old lyrics from Mr. Ingram. To any man who might be reading this, be smart enough to read between the lines. Love her today..because today is all you've got.

First for the Year

What a year it has been. Indescribable. I can't believe it is now the start of another.

Yesterday was the start of the third term in school. I can feel the stress starting to arise pretty soon. The first term was great! Why not? We now have the PPG[TG] and the rest of MSPsycP! Research was demanding, tedious, and tiring. ClinFo had a deadly take home exam. Xgrothe made us suffer weekly written tests to be followed by temptations of alcohol and pulutan! Yeah. That's how we were last term. Always hanging out, drinking and dining. May it be cheapy Tulyase, Dematisse, Giligan's, or Greenbelt, there was always beer around. Come course card distribution day, our smiles reached both ends of La Salle. We had really high grades! Yey!!=) We may be partying hard, but we're still studying!! We have two classes with Sir Bob this term. I'm certain I'd be uploading more pictures of us and our beer bottles! But, I'm also sure there would be more cold sweat and endless nights typing papers and answering neverending homeworks. Good Luck to us!=)

* * *

I spent my Christmas holidays with Tita in Bacolod. 10 days still wasn't anough. I love Bacolod! Food is always delectable though affordable! I can't get enough of the La Paz Batchoy at 21 Restaurant. Fine Dining at a cheap price. I wasn't a fan of that noodle meal until I've tried it there. I finish an entire serving! Same goes with their fresh lumpia. I don't usually eat those since it has veggies but the ones from 21 are irresistable! Their lychee shake was oh-so fresh and their Plantation Iced Tea was oh-so-yummy! The very famous Calea Bakeshop didn't fail me. Every cake I tasted, whether chocolate or not, seemed to release endosphins in my body for they made me so happy! The pesto pasta and the lengua entree at the Bascon Cafe was everything it needed to be and more! No exaggeration! I can't go on musing on everything I ate there 'coz I might run out of days. Haha. It simply goes to show how great the food in Bacolod is for having a maarte girl like me be soo into it. I hope I get to go back there ASAP. I wouldn't mind flying by myself again..as long as I could get there!;)

* * *

Blossom has been going through something over the holidays. It has been a tough time for her and I'm glad she's now ready to fight and win this battle. Of course, buttercup and I are on her side to support and back her up. We're thinking of making cute banners with "Go Blossom!" Watchathink?

OMG. PPG.

I didn't know what to expect when I applied for graduate school. I knew it was supposed to be more difficult than undergraduate [of course] but I didn't know the type of people I was going to be with. I was fearful that they may be a bunch of oldies, a group of geeks, a class of corny people or whatever.

During the entrance exam, I sat beside this particular girl. From what I recall, our only communication was her asking me what course I am applying for. "Clinical Psych", i answered. "Ikaw?" "Clinical Psych din." That was it. Since she looked my age, I was glad that I have a chance of having a classmate as old as my mom.

Enrollment came and I was with my colleague from ACS, Karen. She told me we had to wait for someone else. "Si Mitch, yung dati sa sourcing..kilala mo ba yun?" Surely, I knew her from ACS. I was already in another company when she came there but we were introduced when I went back for a visit. We only exchange a couple of hi's and bye's and that was it.

First day of school came around. As I went inside the classroom, the girl I took the exams with turned out to be my classmate. Her name? Sha.

Second day of school came around. It was the only class I had with Mitch and Sha. That class was Group Therapy and Processes. Xgrothe for short.

After a couple of meetings, our professor named our trio--the PowerPuff Girls. Why? According to him it's because we are always cheerful and on-the-go. Plus, when he's in front, he sees us girls always smiling at the back "looking like cartoons." Hence, PPG. Mitch, having the longest hair was Blossom. Sha and I both adored Bubbles. However, according to Sir Bob, "kung Bubbles kayo pareho sana nag B1 B2 na lang kayo!" Haha. So Sha became Buttercup.=)



In such a short span of time, the three of us were inseparable. We would go out and hang around. We share everything as in EVERYTHING about our lives. We keep each other's secrets. We gave each other advices. We took hundreds of pictures. We wore the same colors of clothes. We disliked the same people. Above all, we love each other.=)

When I feel a tinge of sadness in me, the PPG are the first people I look for. They let me vent out, then they speak their minds and hearts. After which, they make me smile, laugh, and be happy without effort! Haha!=)

I can't imagine life without them now. We should have been friends waaay back.=)

I love you Blossom and Buttercup!=)

What Might Have Been

This is a song I loved long before but it's only now that I could really relate to it.

Somewhere, lost in the wind
I'm watching you
Sunlight touching your hair
And I remember
Somehow, we said that we would never stray
But somehow we lost our way
Promises too often spoken
Are easily broken apart

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be
A fool wondering what might have been

Trace of forever lingering
Drawing me closer to you
A new beginning
Now I know
There is no doubt I understand
Just how fragile love can be
I can't forget
Your mem'ry found me
Now I know where I belong

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be a fool wondering
What might have been
Through every day, into the night
With only love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I've got to know
What might have been
Let the lovin' decide, I can't run, I can't hide

I want you to know
My heart will show that I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been
I've searched everywhere, and nothing compares
When we've got love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been
I'm wondering what might have been
We're gonna find what might have been
Oh I wanna know what might have been.


-=xii=-

The Real Deal

Yesterday there was joy
Now there is none
You didn't have me at hello
Still everything begun

Everything was great,
you and i
But there was so much to take
So much tears in our eyes

Fights were normal
That's what everybody says
I believed them all
And went on with the days

Suddenly it became clear
What's going on is all too real
I have to walk away amidst my fear
It's just not the same and I can't deal.