One Hundred Ways

The so-called love month is nearly ending. I thought I could get away with posting anything in connection to it at this time but it seems that I can't. Fine. Pardon my pink font.

Love. I can give you Paul's definition of it but I'd rather you go look it up in the Holy Book instead. Or try Webster's online. Or the ever-helpful Wikipedia. My favorite is the one of Robert Sternberg's. It's not because I'm a psych major ok? Let's just say it's more realistic. His Triangular Theory of Love states that love has three components: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. For us to obtain real love, the one we all wish for, the type the hopeless romantics would die for, the three components must be present. Hence, it is called consummate. Without passion, the love would be platonic; Companionate. Without commitment, it would be more of lust; physical. Eros. Without intimacy, it would be plain infatuation. So we ask how do we end up with all three? According to Sternberg, love is neither merely an emotion nor a state of mind. Love is a decision we make. If we want to love, then we commit ourselves to it. Passion and intimacy may or may not be present yet but it will stem out from one's desire to be in love.

When we love, we don't simply fall, we choose to fall. Sometimes we feel so much passion that we think our actions and emotions become uncontrollable but that does not happen. We are given free will therefore, we are always in control of our choices. Don't answer me with, "but I didn't have a choice.." Even Miranda says it in The Devil Wears Prada, "YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE. TO LIVE THIS KIND OF LIFE, YOU HAVE TO MAKE CHOICES."

Likewise, when we fall out of love, it is because we chose to do it. We must also not disregard the fact that in a relationship, there are two people involved. For that reason, in any matter, there are two people at fault, two people responsible. Yes, it takes two to tango. If your lover cheated on you, part of the blame is on you. You may have chosen to let it pass. You may have chosen to ignore it. You may have chosen to not give enough that he ended up finding someone to fill in what's missing.

We choose when to fall in love and we choose when to stop. Above all, we choose to maintain, nourish, and care for the love we have..and to do that, we must choose to act. Someone once sent me an SMS saying that love is a verb as well as noun, to love is to do and not just to feel, so unless you express it, love isn't real. How true. Love is more than late night calls, early morning talks, coffee breaks, gifts and physical presence. Otherwise, how would the love be different from the love shared by friends? Right? You must go beyond that. Extra effort perhaps?

Find One Hundred Ways.

Compliment what she does
Send her roses just because
If it's violins she loves, let them play
Dedicate her favorite song
And hold her closer all night long
Love her today
Find one hundred ways

Don't forget, there could be
An old lover in her memory
If you need her so much more
Why don't you say?
Maybe she has it in her mind
That she's just wasting her time
Ask her to stay
Find one hundred ways

Being cool won't help you keep a love warm
You'll just blow your only chance
Take the time to open up your heart
That's the secret of romance

Sacrifice if you care
Buy her some moonlight to wear
If it's one more star she wants
Go all the way
In your arms tonight, she'll reflect
That she owes you the sweetest of debts
If she wants to pay
Find one hundred ways

Love her today
Find one hundred ways

Borrowed that old lyrics from Mr. Ingram. To any man who might be reading this, be smart enough to read between the lines. Love her today..because today is all you've got.

What Might Have Been

This is a song I loved long before but it's only now that I could really relate to it.

Somewhere, lost in the wind
I'm watching you
Sunlight touching your hair
And I remember
Somehow, we said that we would never stray
But somehow we lost our way
Promises too often spoken
Are easily broken apart

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be
A fool wondering what might have been

Trace of forever lingering
Drawing me closer to you
A new beginning
Now I know
There is no doubt I understand
Just how fragile love can be
I can't forget
Your mem'ry found me
Now I know where I belong

I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be a fool wondering
What might have been
Through every day, into the night
With only love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I've got to know
What might have been
Let the lovin' decide, I can't run, I can't hide

I want you to know
My heart will show that I'm ready this time
I know that I'm no longer undecided
Don't wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been
I've searched everywhere, and nothing compares
When we've got love to guide us
I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been
I'm wondering what might have been
We're gonna find what might have been
Oh I wanna know what might have been.


-=xii=-

Something Fishy

Teasing people can be so much fun whether the people being teased ride with it or get irked by it. I don't get the hang out of teasing.

Lately, I've been teasing two good friends of mine. They are both single so I joke that they have a romantic relationship going on and that they're just hiding it. Hehe. It's cute 'coz they don't react against it. They merely laugh it off, no defensiveness, only laughters from the two of them and the people around us.

I found out very recently that one particular girl was getting pissed off by it. Take note: she's not involved in any of my teasing; her name was never mentioned. She's not the guy's girlfriend, neither an ex, nor do they have what they call a mutual understanding. Nada. So why is she fuming? It is because she is in love with our guy friend. Haha!

It's not the first time I encountered a girl going furious for the reason that the man she overly adores is being paired with another girl. Been there, done that.;) I wasn't the silly girl though, I was the girl being paired. Hahaha! Being the brat that I am, knowing that someone is irritated, I provoke her more. Haha! I make the "girl in love" green-eyed with jealousy. Hahaha! With the present case, I tease my two good friends all the more when the other girl is around! Hahahaha! I am mean.

Until now I don't understand why there are girls who go gaga over guys who are not and do not go gaga over them. I don't know why there are girls who would kill and fight for the guys they drool over when the guys would not even offer a punch for them. Fortunately, I am not one of them. I wouldn't force myself to someone who doesn't even like me. Hello? That's so pathetic! That's a clear sign of desperation!

There are plenty of fish in the sea and you don't run after them to catch one. How do fisherfolks do that? They put a net and wait for fish to come to them. Come to think of it. If fishers would swim after a fish, they would only get one. However, if they wait for them to find their way to the net, what will they have? A school of fish in different varieties to choose from. Wouldn't that be a hell lot better?:)

As for me, a girl can go crazy over my fish and I would even be proud! Haha!