Yes, I'm LAUGHING. =D

My honorary sister Sandy updated her blog with a post bearing the title, "Can't Be Man Enough Checklist" which only I can view. I so wanna share all 13 issues byut aside from it being private, I honestly do not think any person other than the two of us would understnd. ;)

The important thing is that, I AM LAUGHING OUT LOUD. The sheer laughter you can only get from something absolutely funny without any tinge of ache, bitterness, or anger.

Oh wow! At long last, I am heading for the rainbow and I cannot wait to see the pot of gold at the bottom of it waiting for me. :)

---
Hon sis, thanks BIG TIME. love u lots!!

xoxo,
-A.:)

For Those Deprived of Attention

Wow. It's been quite a while since I practically got something here. Some believe I am avoiding them. Some think I am hiding. Some things are simply not worth my time, effort and energy.

I purposely did not log on to any of my networking accounts for the reason that I got sick and tired of people pretending to give a damn when in reality, they merely want either of two things: attention or gossip. Most prefer both.

So, for all you people who sincerely want to get in touch with me, you have my number. And please, I hate it when you start with, "musta?" or "are you ok?" Quit it. Walls could hear. I am certain you know the answer. Don't act stupid with me. I probably know you are, anyway.

Oh, to the one who's trying to scare me by acting like a stalker, you don't freak me out. You don't even send a shiver down my spine. You can waste your load texting me and telling me where I am, who I am with, or how "hot you look in that pink dress." What part of I DO NOT CARE don't you understand? I did not even save your numbers since it is going to be a waste of phone memory. So don't waste your time and money on texting me. I am so not worth it. Come to me when you think it's time that I give a shot on trying to help you out with your psychological disorder.

An Open Letter To Whom It May Concern

Hey You,

I've long wanted to tell you this but I can't--not because I don't have the courage because obviously I do, but for the reason that I can't speak with you anymore. I can't text you back. I can't answer your calls. I can't reply to your IMs. I can't comment on your posts. I am doing that not only for me but for the current relationship I have which I treasure very much. You've caused enough issues and I don't want more. As much as I value the friendship I have or had with you, I value the relationship I have with the man I am with more.

I don't and I never will regret knowing you since for quite a while, you made me smile--you always did. You know what to say to brighten my mornings and you know what to tell me when I'm down. You give wonderful advice career-wise and relationships-wise. You were like a big brother to me. That was how I saw you and I believe that was what I always told you. I appreciated every little thing you did for me; your concern, your thoughtfulness, your sweetness. Oh yes. That was your best quality. I thought you displayed that to everyone you knew. Yet, as I was so eager to share with my friends stories about these things you do for me, I found out I was mistaken. You were not like that to everybody. You were simply sweet to me. They made that clear to me. However, I was blinded by the brother I saw in you that I refused to accept it. I found no meaning in your sudden phone calls and texts out of the blue. I argued that you were naturally sweet to friends who were close you. I did not consider any of my friends' assumptions as true until Rey was the one who told me. Yes. It had to come from my own boyfriend.

After he enumerated all that you have done for me, especially the last time we saw each other, I was convinced. All the more with what you uttered that particular night. I can't believe you told me that. In front of other people--my friends, his friends. I treated you as a big brother. You didn't see me as a baby sister. You wanted me as you baby. Period.

How could you do that to me? It wasn't enough that you were into me even if you knew I was attached and more than that, you knew who I was attached to. You didn't respect the relationship I was in.

I was wrong for being dense. It was my fault that I didn't heed my friends' opinions about you. I am not certain whether I should blame myself for being nice to you. I grew up knowing that was how I should treat everyone, friends particularly.

I am writing this letter to let everything out for the last time. Please don't bug me anymore. Like what I have been doing, no matter how sincere your messages are, you would not receive a reply from me. I know you're not crazy so don't act like a stalker. It is not sweet. It is not mushy. Honestly, it's freaky. Don't bother to do anything to please me. There's absolutely nothing you can do to make me leave him. There's absolutely nothing you can do to make me fall for you. I love the man I am with. More than you'll ever know. So I am asking you, please, stop.

The world we are moving on is so small. The paths we are trailing could meet. I am 110% sure that we'll see each other again. I won't be hesitant to give you a smile then wave hello and walk on by. I wish you peace of mind and happiness. May you find the right one for you.

For it is not me and could never be.

Until then, goodbye.

It's Our 23rd Today

Amazing...
that we've come this far.

Surprising...
that we were able to make it somehow.

Fearing...
what tomorrow could lead us.

Pondering...
on all that was.

Unsure...
of what lies ahead.

Hoping...
that everything would be done not just said.

Praying...
that things would only get better.

Trusting...
knowing that we have each other.

Sticking...
to this, to us, not willing to let go.

Loving...
the man who kissed me 23 months ago.

It's A Small World After All

"There's so much that we share
And it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all..."

I used to hear this children's song daily during my week-long 'stint' at a preschool. Lately, I am coming to realize how true these lines are.

You see, I am an outgoing person; an extrovert as how people in my discipline would call it. Back in my undergraduate years, my friends and acquaintances came from different courses, colleges, levels, and organizations. Since I enjoyed [and still do] clubbing and partying, I get the chance to meet friends of friends, cousins of friends, siblings of friends, neighbors of classmates of friends, and the likes. When I began working, I met more people. Now that I am in graduate school, my circle of friends grew bigger.

Rey, for instance, had been classmates-slash-friends with my childhood friend-slash-neighbor-slash-almost kuya since they were kids. We even argued before as to whether his real childhood friend was Rey or I!

Recently, I keep on making these 'discoveries' about someone I know being friends with someone I also know and another someone I also know. Those two people I also know apparently know each other as well!

It was both fun and funny to realize these connections. I guess it is indeed true that we are associated to one another within six degrees.

I suddenly started asking myself whether or not it is a good thing. Watchathink?

Na-tal

In a couple of hours, I'll be less younger. It seems the people around me are more excited about it than I am. Actually they are excited and I am not. Why should I? Birthdays are normal. We all get it every year. Even my cabbage patch kid doll had a birth certificate to let me know when she was "born" to celebrate it. Plus, I wouldn't be the only one getting older tomorrow. There are thousands of people. Some I even know of. I already know what to expect tomorrow. Family, friends, anonymous personalities, freaky stalkers, and the likes would call, text, e-mail, IM, or what-have-you to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Heck, I even know beforehand what I would tell them..THANK YOU! We'd probably eat out for dinner. Yet, since I try to go on a diet, I would not eat much. Then, amazingly, we'd go home. Is that something to be excited about? I don't think so. Then again, before I retire to bed, I would probably remember that I still have unopened gifts. Now, that's something to be a little excited about. *wink*

The Term That Was

Finally, after another grueling term, it is term break once again. The finals week was the deadliest. We had to submit 85 papers compiled "creatively", a psychological evaluation of our patient, a take-home final exam which was given as such since if we were to answer it in class, it would take the entire term [as in], and a personal case history project.

Don't think that only the numbers make these tasks impossible. I tell you, it's not just it. To come up with 85 papers, you must have read 85 chapters of Yalom's book, think of designs to make it artsy fartsy, and have it ringbound. I am so resourceful that I merely placed them in a clearbook. Hehe. For the psychological evaluation, of course, I had to adminsiter and interpret psychological tests. The standardized tests were relatively easier but tell me, do you think it is easy to determine my client's stress level by simply looking at his drawings and reading the stories he made up? Hell No. Would it be easy to answer a 6-question final exam worth 230 points? Obviously not. Lastly, how easy is it to attach a mental disorder to yourself, make a social history that leads to it, have a discussion, conceptualization, and treatment? Not so much.

Imagine my joy and glee when I got our course cards along with the PPG. I didn't have any grade lower than 3.5! Yehey!! A 4.0 and a bunch of 3.5s!! [VERY] Hardwork really pays off..and it pays off very well.:) So off to Tagaytay we went right after the nerve-wracking course card distribution and spent lots of fun, dvd marathons, chills [from the cool air and the scary movies], beers [for them though], chips, and great food. Oh, the PPG. We are always together through the worst and best times.:) By the way, this term is so memorable for us for the reason that PJ's question, "gano katibay ang pundasyon ng PPG?" was answered. Uber strong. Unbreakable.

I was back at home late afternoon of Sunday. What better way to cap the weekend with a nice sumptuous dinner with the person who helped me with everything from answering tests, lending me his flash drive when I couldn't fine mine, typing the 85 papers and burning them on a CD, providing me a nokia charger [even that], fixing my deactivated mylasalle account, doing my on-line enrollment for me, going with me for my search for which UMPC to purchase, taking me out to "chill" and bearing with my bad moods from all the tiredness, ETC. Did i mention that he bought me this delectable and pretty cake that night only to satisfy my craving the night before? SWEET.:)

Speaking of cakes, this little princess will be a little less younger in a couple of days..5, as of this writing..:) Gifts are welcome.:)

Thanks in advance, mwaah!